Volume 2 Issue 44 July 1998
FROM COMMISSIONER SCOTT ELLIS, 2ND AMER. BASKETBALL LEAGUE
Panthers now the Garden City Gladiators
Josh Marquardt's Michigan Panthers are now the Garden City Gladiators. Make a note of it. You also might want to note that he has the first pick in this year's draft.
A final word from the Calgary Condors
I take no responsibility for the following year-end report from Condor Coach Jeff Stahl:
CALGARY- The Calgary Condor 1997-98 season ended the same way as the
previous Condor season. Last year, they were ousted by a vastly superior
St. Lucie Aces team, and this year they were dismissed by a vastly superior
Galactic Thunder team. The team's dismal playoff performances in the last
two seasons have resulted in a lot of grumbling around the Condors camp
these days as coaches and front office officials have been left trying to
explain why the team has seemingly leveled off since the franchise's second
season.
The mediocre records of years past were chalked up to youth and
inexperience, but those excuses are now beginning to wear thin with
impatient fans. Observers have also pointed to the dark cloud that always
seems to be hanging over the franchise. Players have had to answer
questions relating to the mob activities of the Condor organization all
season long. Penny Hardaway, in particular, has had to respond to
allegations that his alter ego, Little Penny, is one of the organization's
top mob bosses. And in March, a power struggle between factions within the
organization led to the bloody assassinations of two highly placed front
office personnel. This has added to the heat that head coach Sleepy Floyd
has been feeling over the team's inability to take the next step. Floyd is
well aware of what happened to a subsidiary of the Condors football
operation, the Buenos Aires Banditos.
After a loss which resulted in the Banditos being all but eliminated from
playoff contention in their league last December, men who were presumably
Condor button-pushers stormed into the coaches' offices on the lower level
of Banditos Stadium and gunned down the entire coaching staff. The next
day, front office personnel of the team met the same gruesome fate. So far,
the basketball personnel have been spared due to the fact that the Condors
have focused more attention on their football operations, which brings in
more revenue to the organization. But they are uncertain about how long
their luck will last.
What makes the team's woeful finish even more disappointing is the fact that
the team clearly benefitted down the stretch by blatant intimidation of game
officials. During games, the Condors organization had deployed masked men
with machine guns at each end of their home arena. This was done allegedly
to send a message to the refs: give us the calls...or else. In fact, an
official who waived off a potential game-winning basket by Jim Jackson in a
game last March was found dead in a nearby lake a week later. His skull had
been crushed.
The organization of course disputes this, claiming that the armed men were
merely there to protect fans from drunken hooligans, and that the dead
official had probably been late in payments to loan sharks. However, when
pressed on these allegations at a recent press conference, Condor public
relations director Tony "The Blade" Vitaglia became very testy, and at one
point threatened to take out reporters who would question the integrity of
the Condors.
As for what is next on the team's agenda, the Condors will focus their
attention on scouting and working out prospective players for next year's
SABL draft. One major problem the Condor organization will have, however,
is that players are often discouraged by their agents from showing up at
workouts for the Condors. This is because agents are terrified at the
prospect of having their clients drafted by the Condors.
In fact, the agent for Stephon Marbury, Eric Fleischer, called Condors team
president, Frankie "The Vise" Lucchino, last season and practically begged
him not to draft his client. He knew that while his tough negotiating
tactics would help land Kevin Garnett a new huge contract, those same
negotiating tactics with the Condors might get him some unwanted plastic
surgery.
Brooklyn leads Blocher 2 games to zero
Steve Feldheim's Brooklyn Tigers have won the first two games from Nick South's Blocher Bombers in the SABL's 1998 World Championships.
In Game 1, Brooklyn won 118-108. Blocher's Shawn Kemp picked up his fourth foul only 6 minutes into the game and had 5 by the half. In Game 2, the Tigers were on the prowl, winning 104-88.
Who's trading?
Heat sends Laettner to Panthers for Oakley and Panthers' 2nd pick.
Heat sends Oakley to Finney for Perdue and Dumars.
Heat sends Perdue to Dazzlers for Eisley.
Heat sends R. Wallace to Chapel Hill for B. Barry & Outlaw.
Heat sends W. Person to Meade for C. Robinson.
Seattle Chieftains are now Miles Bulldogs
Tom Jargo has changed the name of the Seattle Chieftains franchise to the Miles Bulldogs. No doubt Tom will be digging up some wins next season.
Divisional realignment to happen again
As new coaches come and go, geography demands that we realign divisions so that friends that live close to each other can play face-to-face games if they want to. We still have two coaching slots to fill and that could change things, but as of now, here's how our alignment shapes up for next season:
West Divison - Finney, Holcomb, Meade, Josh Marquardt, Tulsa
East Division - Gearjammers, Blocher, Richmond, Akron, Brooklyn
South Division - Aces, Galactic, Chapel Hill
North Division - Miles, Druids, Dazzlers, Tri City, Calgary
Obviously, we have to keep the Kansas, Iowa, Indiana and Florida coaches together. Our final alignment will be decided once we get our final two coaches.