2002 SABL Draft Preview
By Tom Jargo, Miles Bulldog Coach
Wouldn't it be nice if the real NBA mirrored SABL? And Shaq really was traded
for Duncan; or Abdur-Rahim for Payton AND Grant Hill. It would make the real NBA
much more interesting.
What's interesting in SABL is how St. Lucie and Galactic exchanged players
without actually making a trade. They used Good News as a conduit. What lies
deep in those murky waters? We'll have to send a team of reporters to
investigate.
The Commish has commissioned me to write this year's pre-draft story. Everything
that follows is pure gibberish with a few feeble attempts at humor -- sort of
like the Bettendorf Druids.
On that note:
CLASSIC CONFERENCE
SOUTH
St. Lucie: After losing in the finals, the commish's patience lasted about as
long as the TV show The Commish. The horse trader wasted no time turning over
his roster. Teams were able to pry Shaq, Grant Hill and Gary Payton from his
cold, dead hands. But he still wound up with some talent -- namely a consistent
scorer in Abdur-Rahim and a point guard with some skill. Oh, and some guy named
Tim. He should continue to rule the roost in the South.
Galactic: Still a good team. Still a contender. Still old. This team may be on
its last legs. Aptly situated in Florida, they'll be playing home games in a
nursing home. Will at least keep the horse trader and his Aces honest (can't say
that with a straight face).
McLean: Best-ever headline: L.A. makes play for Mavs' Wang. Headline aside, the
Storey is a good one in McLean. Lots of talent. He was smart enough to
take Andre Miller when I was dumb enough to take Lamar Odom. If Rose doesn't
have to thwart any more car-jacking attempts, and Stackhouse can get along
with MJ, the Nationals will continue to be a force in the South.
Chapel Hill: Pretty good team to end up with the 7th pick overall. Shows how
tough the Classic is. Lots of talent, but in a tough division. Might get over
the hump this year and make the playoffs.
Tulsa: "Friends" is putting Tulsa on the map. P.C. hopes to do the same with the
Twisters. While "Friends" is getting old and on the decline, Tulsa is young and
getting better. Might be too much of climb this year, but stay tuned.
WEST
Bakersfield: The wild card in all this. Autoplay all last season, so that was a
bust. It'll be nice to see what Mr. Squires brings to coaching table. Then we
can see how this talent-laden team stacks up. I suspect it's playoff bound. When
I look at the roster, I'm glad the Dogs only have to play them twice.
Good News: Losing Abdur-Rahim may mean bad news. Pierce and company may find a
tougher go of it. The Roosters may oversleep and miss the playoffs.
Finney: Doug no longer has the Answer, but he's got tons of talent and Garden
City's pick. So, the Longhorns will be stampeding for the playoffs.
Holcomb: Trader D's never seen a deal he couldn't make. Now, he's got Big Toe in
the middle and Doug (160 steals) Christie on the perimeter defense.
Figures that Christie would shoot better once he was traded from the Dogs. Look
for the Heat to rise in the West. If not, Trader D will do what he does best.
Garden City: Why won't someone take this team?
ROYAL CONFERENCE
EAST
East Asia: With apologies to pro rassler Ric Flair's rant "To be the Man, you
got to beat the Man" -- To be the Dragon you got to slay the Dragon. And now
Paul Bennett has the Answer, without dismantling his trademark defense and
rebounding. So, the Dragons will be tough to slay.
Richmond: Best chance out of the Royal Conference to be a dragon slayer. Frank
Rowley traded some offense he'll never miss to the Bulldogs for a shot-blocker,
and he now has the seventh pick overall. The Raiders look poised for a corporate
takeover.
Miles: I targeted small forward and shooting guard for improvement, and I
managed to add quality veterans at both positions without giving up my nucleus
of Walker, Bibby and Mutombo. So, I think the Dogs are poised to at least be
competitve and possibly spoil a few hopes and dreams along the way
--unfortunately, most of them will be my hopes and dreams. Only thing holding
this team back is owner Tom Jargo -- not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Let
the Evil Druid coach this team for it to meet its true potential. Bulldogs would
benefit from getting out of the tough East.
Akron: Won't trade me Szczerbiak -- that makes me sad. Won't trade Garnett or
Allen -- that makes everybody sad. Life on the Blimps will be much like last
year -- good, but not great. Like Miles, Akron would benefit from getting out of
the strong East. Go North, young man. Go, Wally -- and keep shooting!
Brooklyn: For the record, it's Pau Gasol -- not Paul, like someone who shall
remain nameless but coaches the Aces and is the commish of the league spells
it. Like Christmas, there's no L. This team makes the East tough top to bottom.
It won't be easy to dispatch the Tigers. Overlooking this team will
get you bit. But someone has to finish last -- and Miles and Akron better be
careful.
NORTH
Iowa: Like Sprewell, this team has hit a wall. And if it wasn't for several
rebuilding teams in the division, the Tornadoes could be spinning harmlessly.
To the envy of Akron, Miles and Brooklyn, this team plays in the North. Lots of
talent and should fend off most, if not all, of the Feeneys and young Mr.
Resnick. A lock for the playoffs, but not likely enough punch to win the Battle
Royal.
Tri-City: Chris has Marbury and will sit back and happily watch the East beat up
on each other. Will duke it out with Spree and the boys for the North
title. Playoff bound, but not much more.
River City: Mike has something in common with his three first-round picks this
year -- they can't get into bars either. Young Mr. Resnick traded Old
Man Miller to Old Man Jargo for two first-round picks and a fake ID. Then he got
Houston to replace Old Man Miller and still held onto three first-round
picks. Good job, Mike. If he sticks with it, Mike and this team can grow
together. Of course, tomorrow he might starting noticing girls, and then all
bets are off.
Davenport: Kevin realized he's not going to be winning now, so he instituted a
late purge and will be rebuilding. Going with a youth movement will keep
the Dazzlers quiet for awhile. Does that mean the Wizards fan will pass on MJ?
Or will MJ be taken and traded for youth? Stay tuned ...
Bettendorf: At least the Evil Druid won't be drafting a whole new team again. Mo
Pete is a good centerpiece, and he'll get a good player with Akron's pick.
And regardless what anyone else thinks, Mark is the best SABL coach. He can get
the most out of limited talent. WAIT -- STOP RIGHT THERE. ENOUGH WITH
SAYING NICE THINGS ABOUT THE EVIL DRUID! Sorry, guys, don't know what got into
me. Now: the Druids will be so bad (let me hear ya ...), that even Davenport
will beat them! I mean, it's an easy 6-0 for the Bulldogs -- even if I play my
second team! (Footnote: the Evil Druid will get revenge when his fantasy
football team -- aptly called the Druids, minus the evil -- hammers my fantasy
football team -- aptly called the Jargonauts, minus the talent --
this weekend; film of the carnage at 11).
PROSPECTS
By Scott Ellis, SABL Commissioner
This year's draft should be one of the best we've had in years. Tons of potential and some veterans that can help out right away. This could be the first of many years of good drafts, too.
There are some prospects you want to look at and using no other brain but my own faulty one, I'll try and pick some of the best players available. Just keep in mind, I'm probably gonna miss a lot of folks. If you like somebody, draft 'em! If I like somebody you don't, don't draft 'em! I have not reviewed players without cards:
1. - OK, OK, it's PAU Gasol, alright? Brooklyn owns Davenport's 1st pick, which is first in the draft and he has said he is taking Gasol. Of course, he still has time to change his mind . . .
2. Jason Richardson. He's gonna play and he's good.
3. Andrei Kirilenko sounds like a Russian spy to me. Oh well, the Cold War's over and he's a good guy to draft. Malone is starting to slow down for Utah and he might start picking up the slack.
4. Shane Battier - 40 minutes a game can't be ignored and neither can 14.4 ppg.
5. Gilbert Arenas - Some say he's the best point guard in the draft. Some people also says it's . . .
6. Tony Parker - Or, some people say it's . . .
7. Jamaal Tinsley - All three of these guys are interesting.
8. Kwame Brown - Might be a stud this year.
9. Earl Watson - Another point guard in waiting.
10. Tyson Chandler - Some says he's the best future Bull big man.
11. Eddy Curry - Some folks say Eddy is.
12. Etan Thomas - One of the other potentially good Wizard big guys.
13. Brendan Haywood - Washington doesn't have Popeye Jones anymore, so this is another good risk.
14. Rodney White - He went high in last year's NBA draft. A gamble, though.
15. Vladimir Radmanovic - He could start.
16. Wesley Person - 36 minutes a game, 15.1 ppg. Good card, too. I don't know why I put him so far down here. I guess I'm looking at the young guys this time.
17. Kerry Kittles - He came back and is an important part of the Nets. 13.4 ppg.
18. Michael Jordan - Perhaps the best card in the draft. I don't think he'll last to here. But he is 39 years old.
19. Tyrone Hill - Best guy to get cut this year. Tremendous rebounding. He is old, he doesn't have many minutes, but he is still gonna play for the Cavs.
20. Speedy Claxton - I like his name.
21. Kedrick Brown - He can leap out of the stadium.
22. Zeljko Rebraca - He shot 50.5 percent, like most Eastern Europeans do.
23. Ira Newble - Some folks think he'll end up starting for Atlanta.
24. Trenton Hassell - About the only young Chicago guard that can play defense.
25. Obinna Ekezie - Mr. Foul.
26. Mengke Bateer - Gotta put at least one Chinese guy in here.
27. Richard Jefferson - Some say he is good.
28. Charles Smith - He got a good card.
29. Tyron Lue - Good defensive card, good on the break.
30. Sean Marks - Zo is gone now.
31. Anthony Carter - Dazzlers.
32. Kenny Satterfield - Dazzlers, young guy
33. Rick Brunson - Dazzlers, old guy.
34. Robert Horry - Shot blocking, defense, rebounding.
35. Tierre Brown - More Dazzlers.